Retirement is not sitting well with my father. He has nothing to do that interrupts drinking. It's hard enough to maintain any sense of closeness due to his obsession with trying to force me to join forces with his insane conservative views by mockery and condescension. But you add alcohol into the mix and he gets angry, personally attacking, and frightening. I've emailed him on said matter, since he likes to argue with my politics via email as well, but seeing as how no one in my family ever talks about anything concerning feelings or dealing with conflict, he'll more than likely just ridicule me for the gesture.
To add to the other issues I currently have with him my sister and her ex are both currently incarcerated. Now, I could care less about that since neither one does anything beneficial for themselves nor anyone else, but my problem is that now there is no one with legal custody of my niece. My parents and her other grandmother are still caring for her as they had been but the if factor is unnerving and because it would cost money my dad will not step up and visit a lawyer to see what can be done. So they sit and do nothing and hope that the day doesn't some when CPS comes knocking on the door. I wish I could do something but unlike my parents I don't have the money at all. I have 300$ to my name currently and usually it isn't much more.
And as usual overall but more usual the last six months or so, I am backed into a corner. Things with "us" don't work. They stopped working the night of the show and they haven't come back. Maybe it's both our faults. Maybe it's one of our faults. Maybe it's no ones fault. But the fact remains that detachment pulls me further and further into myself. Communication accomplishes nothing. It's all been debated, explained, and "solved" a hundred times and yet the gap grows. I've been here, so I recognize it. Others are not so inclined.
"To say the least I'm truly disapointed" -Morrissey
As usual.
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